co-creating vs collaborating

Change the language, change the game. Reframe.

re-post from 6 Nov, 2020

Recently a fellow yogi and I were commiserating on the challenges of collaborating. As I am prone to do, I went back to the etymology of the word for guidance on how to navigate the sometimes stormy weather of actually collaborating with others.

Collaborate means to co-labor, to labor together or to work together. Work, in its PIE origin *werg-, means “to do”. To work is to do something. A work is something done, whether your 9-5 job or your grand opus, which also means “work”. The word opera was originally the plural of opus, and meant multiple works.

I don’t know about you but my general association with work is that it’s hard. It’s work! It’s going to ask a lot of me, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does feel like it’s taken on a particular industrial connotation involving resource use and obligatory effort-ing. Work feels like I’m trying to make something happen that is not likely to get done on its own, which brings an ego into it. I can “own” my work and I can be weighed down by my work. The ego shows up in the pride of doing well or in the shame of not doing at all.

Whereas co-create means “to bring into being”. That already sounds easier, less like labor. To arise, be born, grow—these all feel inherent, like an unimpeded unfolding from source or seed. Creations are individuated expressions of Creator, whether whole creatures like oneself, or one’s expressions of self as they emerge in one’s creations.

It almost feels like there’s an inevitability with creating; like the work would be to stop the natural arising of life into form. It feels like my role is more in keeping up with the needs of the creation. Does my growing body need more rest? Does my arising project need more sustenance and attention? While I can still feel pride and shame, it also feels like there’s less place for ego to take up station in a co-creation. Although collaborate has a co- at the start, it’s already been morphed into the whole word. With co-create, the emphasis of the co- highlights, reminds me, that it’s not all about me. I’m aware of how I co-ordinate my energies with other beings, human or otherwise.

There’s a space-holding quality of these clarifications of the word ‘create’, whereby our main role might have more to do with nourishing what we’re intending to bring into being, and also getting out of the way of its inbuilt process of doing so.

I got back to my fellow yogi with these word awarenesses but put them in brief as:

Change the language, change the game. Reframe.

Although word changes can be awkward to put into use, the awkwardness gives us a moment to re-hear and re-think not only what we’re saying and why, but what we’re living unconsciously. By re-educating ourselves (and others) on the origins of words, we have the opportunity to shift into conscious choice. To speak on purpose instead of accidentally. By choosing the less common and slightly more clunky “co-create” I have an opportunity to share the reason for my choice.

‘Awaken the Heart to Action’ is the byline of The Amazon Academy that I co-created in 2018. What does awakening the heart to action look like in one’s living? It looks like co-creation more than collaboration. It is a banner for action arising from awareness or awakening. There is no-thing to do because the actions, the doings, arise from the being.

Nalini MacNab: This is so articulate, Melissa. Brava! I love the phrase "Amazon Academy," as well. "It looks like co-creation more than collaboration. It is a banner for action arising from awareness or awakening. There is no-thing to do because the actions, the doings, arise from the being." Absolutely!

Aurora Heartsong: Ooo, I love this! I especially love that you've used "storm" to talk about the collaboration process. When I was an instructor at a Defence Instructional school, we watched this process over and over as each course came through, they'd form, storm then norm. It was fascinating...every single time it was the same. :)

Melissa Billington: Fascinating! And helpful to have the phrase--Form, Storm, then Norm. I love what martial arts can do for a woman's (or anyone's) centredness.